Day 1

It was able not to think about radiation today too much. Then on the way to appointment I could feel my heart racing. Meeting B there, I thought to myself. It'll be ok, gosh the loneliness that must overwhelm people when they do this alone. I am so fortunate, during the treatment I started to really freak out and cry, I have this mask all around my face snapped to the table. I can barely see, have a large mouth piece in and a teeth guard. Its so hard not to think about whats happening outside of you. Coming from 7 directions, says the therapy guy... 7 directions I thought it was going to be more localized. Then after I had to meet with the nurse, get a wash that assists with dry mouth you actually use it from beginning of treatment. She also gave me aloe vera gel and emu oil. Nice to get some natural stuff. She gave me the run down again of side effects to expect. Same as before. . . Don't want to get it to them in detail today.

When she asked about questions, I asked her about what areas where being exposed. She clarified then came back and it turns out its a full 360 degrees, under nose all the way around to top of my neck. I was floored. I thought the affected area was smaller than that, just my left side. Ugh... more sores, thickening of tissue, and area sunburned. Unfortunately B had to pick up Belen before that so I was alone. I cried all the way to car. I mean I know I need this. Heck I know I'll beat this. But, sometimes it just a bit much.

I got to cleaning ASAP at home, it helps me. I haven't used the wash yet, I need to. . .